History

The History of the Kneemonster is long and varied. Here is an excerpt from one of the most dynamic time of the Kneemonster, the age of the Dinosaurs…

The Age of Dinosaurs (Insert More dramatic Music here)

The Tyrannakneeasaurus (The Terrible Kneed Lizard)

Easily the ugliest of all the dinosaurs, The Tyrannakneeasaurus terrorized the a territory the size of a large Wal-Mart parking lot for most of the Backupthatassic . A highly specialized carnivore, it speculated that it was responsible for much of the death amongst all species of animals in the Wal-Mart parking lot sized area for the greater part of the Backupthatassic. Fossil records seem to indicate that were it not for an unreasonable fear of ferns, the territory of this fearsome beast might be far larger. (Insert Terrified Kneemonster here)

One drawback the Tyrannakneeasaurus had in it’s ongoing struggle with it’s prey was the fact it could only eat cooked meat (There was little in the way of ovens during the period, this coupled with it’s inability to pick proper garnish and a decent bottle of wine was the leading cause of it’s eventual extinction.

The typical day for the Tyrannakneeasaurus consisted of killing something and waiting (sometimes for weeks) for lightning to strike nearby. This is thought to be the period where the species lost any use of its arms due to burns suffered because of the lack of oven mitts, spatulas and especially frying pans.

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